One more down
Looks like I have managed to get done with another term. Almost. One more exam in three day’s time and this term shall be over. I shall be free to roam the earth with a mandate to get back to campus before the sun rises on the 7th of September. Quite a long holiday it feels like, after a term as crowded as the 4th term. Nevertheless, there are a few things I learnt this term. No, I am not talking about academic learning. That vanishes the moment the exam is over and at times it vanishes even before I write the test. Like it happened today. But that is not something I am bothered about. Or at least I would like to believe so.
So, talking about this pointless babble in webspace, I would just say this is an extension of my aimlessness. Just like I have no idea or understanding where life is taking me and I am, to a great extent, resigned to the vicissitudes of fate, my writing here also is not intended to follow a clear course of an introduction, a body and a conclusion. I just enjoy typing out random stuff that keeps coming to my mind. There are times when something new happens and I crave the chance to document it. There are times when I want to fold up within myself and withdraw to the farthest corner of the concievable universe. Sometimes I am disgusted with the situations that surround my every day life, sometimes I am just too tired to think any more. Isn’t it surprizing that nothing nice happens to me even by accident? I guess they have a branch of Azkaban somewhere close to my room. Those hideous creatures feed on my inherent happiness, or whatever little bit of it that was left, in gleeful gluttony while I lie asleep.
There have been times when I have desperately tried to feel happy about all the good things that have come my way (oh yes, there was a time when I was happy and satisfied with the way my life was going) but they seem too far away now. Nothing really happy ever happened to me since the day I walked out of the BITS campus looking for a life, unless you want me to count those drunken and sloshed evenings when I tried to make myself believe that life was good and it would continue to be the same. Every time the intoxication lifted and life came back into focus, I always felt the sting, the bite of mediocrity, the knock of reality… the sound of Bansal smiling and letting me know that I have not put in as much effort as I should have, highlighting the his belief that it was my mediocrity which hid under my seemingly bright exterior.
Aah… I am tired now, I need to go sleep. I can almost feel those dementors coming, but I get this feeling, they’ll starve today.
